Whew! What a month!
Okay... so here's the rest of the story.
The last chance I had any amount of time to contemplate what I was writing, I had just turned down ISU because I was unable to come up with the rest of the money I would have needed to go there after the 30,000 Euro scholarship. Several days after I did this, ISU came back with another offer. Since, in my letter to them, I had also explained that I would not have been able to attend their institution this fall anyway, because of a previous committment I had already made to the University of Wisconsin, they offered me a 10,000 Euro scholarship and the opportunity to attend only their summer session (SSP09).
As I was considering this most recent offer, my new PI (for those of you out there who don't know what PI means, it stands for "Principal Investigator"; it's the professor who leads the lab you're working in) asked me to come early to Madison. Of course, I was ecstatic because this is how I'd wanted to spend my summer in the first place! The monkey wrench in all my plans, of course was the fact that she wanted me to start on June 1st; leaving me about a month to find housing and complete all aspects of the move.
The University of Wisconsin, Madison campus. Under normal circumstances, a month would have been plenty of time but when you're trying to get into graduate (university) housing at UW, getting an apartment is no small feat! It was really important to me (and my budget) that I find on-campus housing and I know for a fact, that I wasn't the only one who felt this way! First of all, UW offers apartments at or below cost and most utilities are included in their rates. Second, I wanted to be close to campus so I could easily commute to the lab and back home again (2 out of the 3 complexes managed by University Apartments are on the bus route that circuits the Madison campus). Third, since I could not afford to come and look at apartments in Madison before actually moving there, I wanted to have faith that the place I was moving into would be clean, well-maintained and otherwise in good condition (I was forced to rent an apartment I hadn't scuritinized beforehand when I moved to Boston and it was NOT a pleasant experience!).
I'm sure Madison, like any other city, has it's share of slumlords and since I was certain that UW
would not be among them, I wasn't worried about putting money down on a place I hadn't yet seen. Thankfully, I also had a lot of help from the staff at University Apartments and Peggy (who I'd established contact with, months in advance) found me a place that matched my specifications (i.e., no roomates, upstairs, Eagle Heights area). I was able to move in two weeks before starting in the lab which, gave me plenty of time to unpack, settle in and explore Madison. All in all, I'm very happy with my accomodations. My apartment is more modern than I expected it to be, there is a lot of green space and wildlife here, and getting to the lab is easy.I really am fortunate to be able to live here my first year. I'm told that it's pretty common for students to have to wait at least a year before getting in because demand is so high. Given the advantages to living here, I can see why others would feel the same way I do. I think what really made the difference for me is that once I had decided to come to UW, I made it a point to call housing and speak with them directly about what my options were. I think most students just fill in the online application and wait to be called. That's what leads to trouble. They don't realize how many people are ahead of them, or how the wait-list works in terms of priorities. So, if you're thinking about coming to UW and you think you may want to live at University Apartments, give them a call and ask to speak to someone. All of the staff I've encountered here at UW, have been curteous, knowledgeable, and friendly (a far cry from other schools I've attended!).
Coming to the midwest is still a bit of a culture-shock for me after Massachusetts and Pennsylvania... My father once told me that he thought people got friendlier the further west you traveled. I haven't ever been to the west coast but I'm pretty comfortable around people here, that's for sure! In fact, I've only come across one place where I didn't feel welcome-- and that was the UHaul office we brought our truck back to. Yeah, there's a story for you! Maybe I'll include that in a separate entry.
So, anyway... back to UW.
I had a mess of paperwork to fill out with regards to getting started here and most of it pertained to the "fringe benefits" I would receive as a grad student here in the Geology & Geophysics department. When I went to Penn State, I had a basic medical insurance plan that had some vision & dental benefits and there was just one plan for everyone through MEGA (which, for me, was woefully inadequate since I had a chronic medical condition). Even "healthy" students balked at the things the insurance refused to cover when it came to acute medical problems or accidental injuries! Here at UW, new students get a thick manual and countless handouts describing a series of medical, dental, vision, insurance and savings plans and you choose what fits your situation best. Plans range from the meagre, "I'll sign up for it because I have to", minimal benefit plans to top-tier "we'll cover everything no matter what" varieties. At least
here, I won't have to worry about surprise medical bills showing up in the mail! That was always fun... After a hard day at the lab, to come home and find a $600 spinal injection bill! Perfect!Needless to say, it took me a while to evaluate all these choices but I think I finally got it straightened out. Most students my age, haven't ever been through a medical crisis and probably wouldn't fuss over this stuff as much as I did. We're all supposed to be invincible when we're young... Having been through so much over the last decade, I realize that others may have a tough time relating to the way I see the world. Deep in the recesses of my mind, I kinda-sorta remember what it was like to be young, carefree, and enthusiastic about the future. Getting into grad school was just going to be the first step in a long line of successes leading to that Nobel Prize at the end of the tunnel! Now, I'll just be happy if I can stay healthy, keep my checkbook balanced, and do my research in peace.
I am slated to start in Nita Sahai's lab on Monday morning. I've been here for almost 2 weeks now and I've had a lot of time to think about what I'm doing here. Most people in my position would probably be trying to cram in as much literature as possible and preparing to try and look like the next "rockstar scientist" (I borrowed that phrase from another student I went to school with at Penn State). I've been taking this time instead, to consider how I got here and how that will influence where I'm going-- in the lab and in life. Since I consider myself to be a "big-picture, creative thinker", I've come to realize that inspiration can come from anywhere. I often feel sorry for those who can't see the forest through the trees (detail-oriented types). If our focus becomes too narrow, our expressions too limited, our world too small, we risk losing parts of ourselves.Over the past few years, I think my biggest mistake was trying to force myself to fit in where I was never meant to be. I didn't give myself permission to be who I was naturally. I tried to please people who didn't like me and tried to limit myself to suit some preconceived schema of someone else's "ideal". At one point, I was even instructed not to think... (you'll will ever believe who-- maybe I'll just have to embed the recording of it as an mp3 file someday). The bottom line is that everyone, on some level, is desperate to belong. Whether we're screaming successes or miserable failures, we're actively engaged in the search to find others like us.
I don't know if I've found my match here at UW yet. I've seen many encouraging signs but it's still too early to tell. All I know is that this time, I'm not going to clip my own wings. This time, I'm not going to be some shrinking violet in the corner who says "yes" to everything. Until this last year, I hadn't realized just how much of myself I let others take away. In essence, I had forgotten how to be genuine.
I truly believe that starting my own business gave me a fresh new lease on life. Seriously, everyone should try it at least once in their lives. I learned a lot by doing it and it is continuing to pay off even as I am preparing to start down another path. It doesn't take a special person to become an entrepreneur but it does create them. It teaches you where your faults truly are and how you can exploit them to your own advantage. Running a business also gives you the opportunity to view your own work experiences through the eyes of your superiors, making it easier to understand why their priorities may not always be aligned with your own.
So in closing, I hope to have time to write here more regularly, now that I will have more interesting experiences to share. Sault Ste. Marie was lovely and all but I expect to have a lot more to do in a day down here in Madison. I hope to attact the attention of prospective students who are considering scientific careers of their own, raise awareness of the unique obstacles faced by students with chronic medical conditions and disabilities in academia, and those who support what we're trying to do at AARI. I'll document everything I think may be of interest to readers in my target demographics (no matter how much I may cringe over it) and hopefully we can all get something useful out of it.
By the way, we changed our URL yesterday at AARI so don't forget to update your bookmarks!
