As you know, the other day I received a letter from ISU which seemed to be asking me to send 1,000 euros in order to be considered for a 20,000 euro scholarship. The email further went on to say that I had been wait-listed and that the class was full. Considering the fact that I had already received two separate acceptance letters for the SSP09 and MSS programs (via email and snail-mail), I was very confused and even began to wonder if it was some sort of scam since whoever sent it didn't seem to realize that I had already been accepted. Like I said before, one should never have to send money in order to be considered for a scholarship.
As it turns out, the final letter (about the wait-list) was sent in error and I hadn't been wait-listed after all. After having that clarified, ISU then offered me a 20,000 euro scholarship which would have reduced the overall cost of attending to 13,500 euros. Considering this fee covers tuition for both programs as well as housing & board, it seemed like a much more reasonable amount and since I hadn't planned on completing the MSS until after receiving my PhD from Wisconsin, I had plenty of time to raise the money.
Sounds good right? Unfortunately, there was just one teeny-tiny catch... I had to send a 1,000 Euro deposit to hold my place in the program and it has to be received by Monday. Since I never send deposits until I am certain I can come up with the remaining balance, I cannot in good faith, send the money (yes, this is what the 1,000 Euros was really about; now that I think about it, I probably received a "hybrid" letter composed of 2 letters sent to 2 different groups of people that day: 1 for those wait-listed and another for the scholarship). To be honest, I was surprised that they wanted a deposit in the first place and then I was shocked to find out that they wanted it so early (long before I've gotten decisions regarding the rest of my scholarship applications).
I never intended to go to ISU at all if I couldn't find enough financial aid to pay for it. I was never comfortable with the idea of siphoning off this month's profits from the gift shop to cover shortfalls in funding. So, I guess the bottom line is that since I'm required to start sending money before I was ready to, I won't be going to ISU at all. I know I am far from being alone in this situation as I've been corresponding with other prospective students who I happened to bump into on Facebook. Just about everyone has managed to find at least some financial aid but almost no one I've spoken to has managed to secure the entire 33,500 euro balance.Even if ISU is worth every penny (and graduates insist it was for them), it's simply too much for members of the middle-class and below to pay. In some ways, I'm relieved. I had the sense to know when I would have been spending above my means. Borrowing the remaining balance through student loans was never an option in my mind (I borrowed more than enough as an undergrad!) and I have seen others get into trouble after borrowing too much. One friend who comes to mind borrowed about $136,000.00 to finance his baccalaureate degree and two masters degrees and I certainly don't envy him! I can't imagine how high his monthly repayments must be! Still, I see him as a victim of his circumstances too because his upbringing was so very different from my own.
I believe that having a chronic illness teaches one to be a lot more frugal. Student loans by themselves are a fact of life for members of my cohort but to combine those with skyrocketing medical bills... Let's just say you have to learn fast if you ever hope to keep your head above water. There simply wasn't any room for error and there were almost no opportunities to splurge. Maybe I should be more disappointed about not being able to go to ISU but on some level, I expected not to go-- it really was a luxury that I knew I couldn't afford on my own. I often view my choices in the context of "what could go wrong?" Six years from now, I won't be able to turn back time and decide not to go in order to save myself from the crushing financial burden of having gone to ISU. Making a smaller sacrifice now potentially saves me from a worse situation later. I've mentioned Suzie Orman before and I have to say, that I think she's really onto something when she says that people spend money on things they can't afford because they're trying to satisfy some inner loss or emptiness. If I didn't believe I was going to be successful, or that the opportunities I have wouldn't be enough to get me where I want to be in life, I might have taken a chance on ISU.
I might have rolled the dice and simply hoped to find the rest of that money later down the road. I know a lot of people who do that-- they gamble, and I have to say, that sometimes they win... but not always. Sometimes the price is just too high and once you make a mistake like that, it may be impossible to set things right again.As much as I wish I could go to ISU, I also know that I don't need to go. I will be fine without it and so will AARI. We'll find other ways to finance our development that aren't as risky and in the end, I think we'll be better off as a result.
No comments:
Post a Comment